The Things We Hold Onto
by Dani2013
Summary: On the eve before the big battle at Alexandria Daryl makes a middle of the night trip to retrieve an item that's very important to him. A subsequent conversation with Father Gabriel leads to events that Daryl could never foresee and has trouble even comprehending. This little one-shot is my coping mechanism for tonight's finale. M rating is for language only.


This not so little one-shot is my coping mechanism for tonight's finale. I don't own TWD or any of the concepts, people, or ideas.

Daryl's footsteps reverberated out into the inky darkness of the night. It was that time that people often described as the small hours where night itself was fading but dawn was still hours away. The hunter navigated the streets like the shadow he now so often felt he resembled.

Passing a guard on the wall he inquired quietly, "Anything yet?"

The boy whose name the hunter couldn't even remember shook his head before replying tightly, "Nothing yet Mr. Dixon."

"S'just Daryl," the archer growled at the boy his gut clenching as he strode past determined to make it to his destination. He didn't stop to analyze why being called Mr. Dixon bothered him so much. He didn't examine too closely the thought that the boy would most likely be dead by tomorrow afternoon. A battle was coming. Probably the first of many in the war they were about to start. They had hours if even that before Negan and his people arrived and the archer didn't believe in deluding himself. People were going to die. A lot of people and that boy on the wall was probably one of them.

Forcing the thought and all the worries surrounding it from his head the hunter finally reached his destination. Reaching out for the doorknob he turned it quietly before entering the tiny dark church. Flicking on the small flashlight in his hand he made his way to the front to where the altar was located. Hopping up onto the slightly elevated dais he walked to the back before dropping to his knees and taking the small flashlight between his teeth.

Using both hands he gently pried up the loose floorboard before reaching inside and pulling out the linen wrapped object hidden under the altar. He wasn't sure what had originally prompted him to place it here in this place. Some misguided notion about sacrifice and honor he was sure. It hadn't seemed right to take her with him where he was going the night he'd originally placed this here. She wouldn't have agreed, would have argued vehemently against it, and he could practically feel her whispering in his ear that what he was about to do was wrong. The only way to make it stop had been to remove her and leave her behind as he went on a mission to slaughter defenseless people in their sleep. A mission that had released a hail storm of misfortune upon the family he had been trying to protect.

After that night he'd never made it back to this place to retrieve the item in his hand and he imagined that it must have been fate that kept him from doing so because if he had this would be gone now. Gone with every other weapon that had been stripped from them by the Saviors and their greed. Whether it be fate or fortune or some other whimsical notion or even the God she'd so firmly believed in something had kept this piece of her safe until this fortuitous moment.

Cradling it reverently he traversed the dais before hopping down once more and moving to sink onto the nearest pew. Settling into the hard wooden seat he turned his eyes toward the scripture verse above the altar. He stared at it for several long moments as he read Jeremiah 29:11 " _ **For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."**_

The hunter hadn't even realized how tense he'd become until he felt the subtle prick of the blade through the linen wrapped around it. Feeling almost disconnected from himself he glanced down dispassionately to see a smear of blood on the previously white linen. Holding his hand up to examine it he saw the thin line of blood that was now welling across his lacerated palm. Snorting at his own foolishness, he cared for this weapon diligently he knew how sharp the blade was, he moved to wipe his palm against the filthy fabric of his jeans.

Then after making sure none of the red liquid remained he moved to unwrap the blade upon which he'd just injured himself. Laying it in his lap he carefully unwrapped the weapon revealing the ivory bone handled knife that had once belonged to a blonde haired angel. His gut clenched as the weapon came into view all the feelings he'd always associated with her and therefore it slamming into him anew. He'd been repressing them for so long now the wash of feeling would have made his knees buckle if he hadn't already been seated.

Laying the cloth aside he reached for the leather sheath he'd previously placed on the pew. He hadn't hidden it away like the knife because he'd been concerned that the leather might mildew or rot in such a tight and possibly damp space. Instead he'd placed the sheath in his dresser draw at the house and the Savior's having no use for an empty knife sheath had left it alone.

Holding the weapon up to examine it for a moment the hunter deemed it in perfect condition before moving to sheath it. It almost felt like a piece of his soul slide back into place as the weapon settled perfectly into its casing. He snorted at his own musings, useless poetic nonsense that had no place in real life, before unbuckling his belt and sliding the knife into its proper and rightful place.

The coming battle was one that he could finally take her into. A battle for what was right and true and the type of battle he couldn't imagine facing without her at his side. She would have been the first one encouraging them to do something in the face of Negan's tyranny, the first one to rail against the injustice of what had happened to Abe and Glenn, the first one to decry that they had the obligation to make the world a better place for the good people that were still trying to live in it. He wasn't sure he could face what was coming without her which is what had driven him from his sleepless bed.

Placing his hands on the tops of his thighs Daryl took a deep breath and released it on a sigh as his eyes once more strayed upward to the scripture above the altar. He understood of course that people found hope and comfort in religion but nothing about the scripture he was currently examining provided that for him. It didn't seem that God had any plans for him that involved hope and a future. Instead rather dispassionately he concluded that the Lord's plans for him seemed to only involve death and destruction and loss. His whole life was about him always being on the losing end of things. He had no idea what it felt like to win and that burned painfully in his gut. Every time he thought things were about to turn around for him and things finally appeared to be going right some giant calamity disabused him of such a foolish notion.

Daryl was suddenly pulled for his dark thoughts by the sound of shoes scuffing across wood. Not alarmed but curious as to who else would be frequenting the church in the middle of the night the hunter glanced over his shoulder to see none other than Father Gabriel. The man met his eyes nodding at him silently before moving to sit at the end of the pew. Several long moments of silence stretched between the two men the physical distance between them seeming to represent another more ominous gulf.

It was Father Gabriel who finally spoke his voice low but strong showing just how far he'd come from the timid and terrified man they'd first found," I couldn't sleep. Kept thinking about what's coming and I felt the need to pray for my flock. I didn't expect to find you here."

It was a statement more than a questions but Daryl still felt compelled to explain himself. Ducking his head he mumbled," Had somethin' on the altar I needed back 'fore tomorrow."

Nodding his head the father chuckled wryly before musing," Typically the things we place upon an altar remain as an offering to God."

In the darkness the hunter suddenly found himself struggling not to lash out at the father. He liked Gabriel. Respected who he had become but his careless words tore at the frayed lashes of his self-control. He'd wanted to kill Dwight the day before and he'd barely stopped himself. He hadn't done it for her. She was the only thing that had kept him in check. He'd originally tried to help Dwight and Sherry because of Beth and she was the only thing that had kept him from ending the man.

Gripping the handle of her knife trying to channel his rage he growled at the father between clenched teeth," He already took her. He damn well can't have the only thing I got left a her too. He can take his offerings and his plans elsewhere. I don't got time for that bullshit."

Turning towards the hunter slowly Father Gabriel drawled carefully and with dawning realization," Yet I find you here tonight on the eve of a battle contemplating scripture and making peace with yourself if not with God."

When the hunter just ducked his head and avoided meeting his eyes Gabriel continued softly," Maggie's sister. . . if I understand correctly from what I've been told she was a child with great faith?"

"Beth wasn't a child," the hunter snapped angrily.

Nodding his head Father Gabriel soothed kindly," We are all the Lord's children Daryl no matter how old we are."

There was a long pause before the hunter finally let out a deep sigh," I don't believe in any plans but the ones I make happen and I ain't got no reason to," there was a long pause as Daryl shifted and stroked a finger over the handle of the knife against his side. Then raising his eyes to Gabriel's he murmured softly and with emotion thick in his tone," That faith Beth had didn't do shit for her she got hurt and she ain't here no more. What the hell kind of hope am I supposed ta find in that huh? What the hell kind a future is that? She doesn't have a future anymore. I don't . . .," he paused to drag a hand roughly over his face before dropping it back into his lap and grunting tightly," I don't have a future anymore. Not after she was just gone like that. There ain't nothin' good left in this world besides the people I am fightin' with. I'll stand with them ta the end but I don't have any illusions about what happens after this war is over. There will just be another and another after that until humanity destroys itself. I used to believe that we could be better than that. Beth helped me to believe that we could be better than that. But I don't believe that anymore. It was a fairy tale a pretty girl sold me to make us both feel better. That fairy tale, believin' in that shit, got her killed, and hangin' onto it almost got me killed too." Gesturing towards the scripture the hunter concluded," That shit up there is just another fairy tale. Somethin' people use ta make themselves feel better. . . stronger. It had a place before all this but it don't anymore. Truth is there ain't no future just a slow descent into hell for all a us unfortunate enough ta be left still standin'."

When the hunter stood to leave Gabriel did as well imploring emotionally," Daryl I didn't know Beth but from what I've heard it would grieve her greatly to see you like this. Maggie said. . . "

Gabriel was cut off as the hunter swung back to him pausing as he slung his crossbow over his shoulder," Maggie don't know shit 'bout what happened 'tween Beth and I. Ain't no one that knows the truth a it. That girl was a damn angel and angels get their wings some sooner than others. Beth's better off gone from here. Hell ain't no place for angels Father," then gesturing with his arms to encompass the church and the community at large the hunter continued wryly," All a us left now. . . we're just starvin' off the inevitable. Hell's callin' our names cuz that's where we belong. The good ones are all gone. The rest a us are foolin' ourselves. Thinkin' we might be good enough ta pass through the same gates as the angels one day. We ain't and we never will be."

Turning on heel Daryl strode from the church leaving a distraught Father Gabriel behind. Turning back to the altar Gabriel's mind was spinning. He'd had no idea and he was sure no one else did either that Daryl had sunk so far into despair. He'd known the hunter was angry. Everyone had known that. He wanted revenge for Abraham and Glenn and for what had been done to him and that was understandable. But the man that had just left his church wasn't just looking for revenge. If he had learned one thing in this post-apocalyptic world it was that the loss of hope was the loss of life. Without a vision for the future there was no future and Daryl Dixon was a man without a vision. He could no longer see beyond his pain and loss to the idea of a greater good. That was dangerous. That made the hunter a dead man walking and this group needed him too much for that.

Gabriel hadn't known Beth. From the things others had said of her he wished he had. She seemed to have been a force of nature and the angel Daryl deemed her to be. The thing was the hunter was an angel too. The group's guardian and protector, Rick's right hand, Maggie's closet remaining family, Carol's best friend, he was integral to their daily survival even if he couldn't see it.

Turning and dropping to his knees before the altar Gabriel began to pray fervently. It was the whole reason he'd come here to begin with. He prayed for the safety of the community and its residents the original reason he'd arrived at his church in the middle of the night but he also prayed for the guardian angel that had been thrust into his path rather unexpectedly. Gabriel still believed that God was working and he didn't doubt that the Lord had sent Daryl to him to show him that the hunter needed prayer. Clearly the Lord wanted him to intercede for the hunter and Gabriel intended to do it because while Daryl didn't believe in a higher purpose at the moment he knew it existed. Hands clasped before the altar the Father prayed that the Lord would guide Daryl and change his heart. That he would show him the way and send him a sign that his faith was not misplaced and that he did have hope and a future. Gabriel saw in the hunter a leader and someone capable of helping to change the world they found themselves in and he knew that Daryl needed to see that too.

Despite the hard life he had seemingly led Daryl was pure in a way not many people were anymore. He saw right and wrong, understood people and their motivations instinctually, and had a strongly ingrained moral code that he didn't deviate from. Some people just knew the right thing to do and they had the courage to do it no matter the personal cost. Father Gabriel knew that Daryl was one of those people and the world needed more good people like that. The world and all the good people left who didn't have that courage couldn't afford to lose people like Daryl. The hunter was wrong about everything imploding. He'd thought that himself once. Thought he was simply existing until there was no longer anything to exist for but he'd been shown the light and he knew now that there was more to this life than that. If people had the courage to make it happen they could change this world of pain and horror into something worth fighting for. People like Negan could be controlled once more and society could gain a foothold again. It would people like Daryl that would ensure that would happen. He just needed to be able to see the light again. He just needed a sign something to pull him back from the darkness that had reeled him in and consumed him. Gabriel did not pretend to know what kind of a sign to pray for. He had no idea what would possibly be able to pull the hunter back to the light but he didn't often pretend to understand the ways of his Lord. He'd tried once and he'd failed spectacularly. If there was one thing he'd learned from the apocalypse it was that it was okay to ask for help but pure arrogance to assume that he knew what that help should look like. So with no particular thing in mind Gabriel simply prayed that the Lord send a sign to Daryl and soon before the hunter strayed so far into the darkness that there was no coming back from it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The battle had been bloody but they'd won and Daryl still couldn't shake the elation of that victory. He knew that the war was just beginning and that it was way too soon to celebrate but still was it so wrong to want too. Sure there had been loses but at the end of the day they had driven Negan out of their town and they'd broken his rule over them. The Kingdom, the Hilltop, and Alexandria they were finally free again. All they had to do was maintain that freedom by winning the war. In his own mind the hunter scoffed at himself. All they had to do like it was going to be some small thing to win this war.

Chaos abounded around the hunter as he strode through the safe zone. People from each of the three communities ran here and there cleaning up the carnage, fixing the damaged fences, helping the wounded to the clinic where those with any kind of medical care where doing what they could. The hunter was headed there now to check on Rick who'd been grazed in the side and Michonne who'd taken a pretty significant beating from one of those traitors from the trash kingdom. Daryl still didn't know what Rick had been thinking with those people. He'd known the minute he'd met the odd ball leader that they weren't people that could be trusted.

Entering the infirmary Daryl was slightly overwhelmed by the sheer number of people and the noise. Chocking back his discomfort he headed towards Maggie and Rick who were huddled around Michonne's bed. Carl stood off to the side with Judith in his arms.

"Rick," the hunter grunted drawing everyone's attention to him.

Turning Rick reached out to pull him into the fold. Clapping him on the back he ran quick eyes over Daryl before inquiring," You all good brother?"

"Yeah," then turning critical eyes to Maggie and giving her a once over as well," clean up's underway now." Reaching out to the woman he now considered his sister and family he dropped a hand on her shoulder before questioning worriedly," You okay. We told ya not to come here."

"I am fine Daryl," the brunette responded offering him a broad smile," I wasn't gonna sit this out. Not after Glenn. You had ta know that."

The hunter found himself nodding back but yet still chastising," This ain't 'bout you anymore Maggie. Ya got somethin' worth protectin' and Glenn would agree with Rick and I 'bout you not fightin' anymore."

"I know he would have," Maggie agreed calmly while nodding," but this was something I had to do. I was a part of it and I needed that. Now I can step back and let you guys finish this."

"I'll be holding you to that," Rick vowed as his eyes met Daryl's for confirmation and agreement," we owe your family too much to let anything happen to you."

Maggie just smiled back at Rick and Daryl had the very distinct feeling she was still going to do whatever it was that she wanted to do. Girl was too much like her sister. The stray thought caused an intense pain to ricochet through him and he barely managed to suppress his outward reaction. Something in his expression must have turned odd though because suddenly both Rick and Maggie were studying him with worried eyes and Michonne was giving him a look that made him want to turn and run.

"Everything okay Dixon," the battered warrior questioned with knowing eyes.

"Yeah," he managed to grunt back after clearing his throat and shuffling his feet. He knew his behavior wasn't fooling any of these people but he wasn't willing to discuss his sudden change in mood. He was in the middle of racking his brain looking for an exit strategy of some sort when Carol suddenly burst into the infirmary looking more frazzled than he'd seen her in a long time.

She was breathing heavily and something about the expression on her face alerted him to the fact that something big was happening something that had wiped away her usually calm demeanor.

Rick obviously saw the same thing because he stepped towards Carol worry clouding his features," Carol is everything okay?"

Carol's eyes frantically darted over everyone in the group before settling on Daryl. She was breathing heavily as if she'd run a long distance and she swallowed visibly before releasing a shaky," Yeah I think. . . I think it's finally going to be."

Her reaction not soothing him at all Rick stepped towards her after dropping Michonne's hand," Carol what's going on. Did Negan's people come back or is it something else? What's the matter?"

Rick's question and apparent concern seemed to center Carol some as she visibly calmed herself to retort," That cowardly son of a bitch will be off licking his wounds for a while. I don't expect him to come back here for a quite a bit if at all. If he's smart he will target small groups of us and start a gorilla war. He won't come here enmasse for another battle with the whole group where he's sure to get his ass handed to him again."

Rick was nodding in agreement as Carol stepped towards Daryl," I need you to come with me to the gates. Someone's here."

"Whose here," Maggie suddenly questioned from behind Daryl's shoulder obviously confused by why Carol had come for Daryl of all people.

The hunter himself appeared quite confused as he shrugged," Yeah so."

"It's Heath," Carol clarified, "and he's brought some people back with him."

"Oh thank goodness," Michonne piped up from behind Rick," we were just talking the other day about how we needed to go search for him if he didn't show up soon. Tara seemed pretty convinced something bad had happened to him."

"What kind of people," Rick suddenly questioned his head tilting to the side to examine Carol critically.

"People Daryl needs to see," Carol implored the leader her eyes darting to the bowman who was watching the exchange with a hefty degree of detachment.

Daryl wasn't quite sure why Carol seemed so hell bent that he had to see Heath and whoever these people were but he'd been looking for an exit anyway so stepping forward he reached out to clap Rick on the shoulder," I'll go see what's up and then come back and check in with you."

Reaching back for Michonne's hand again Rick nodded using his free hand to clap the hunter on the shoulder affectionately in return," Okay just come back and let me know how Heath is and who these people are. I trust you to decide if they are safe to stay here."

Daryl just nodded and grunted at Rick as he stepped forward to follow Carol. Once they were outside the infirmary he asked with more than a hint of annoyance in his voice," Where's the fire? Why'd ya need me for this. I ain't the safe zone greeter."

"Trust me," Carol retorted as she strode purposefully toward the gates," you'll want to greet these people."

The hunter just huffed in disagreement. As they neared the gates Daryl could see a large group of people surrounding two well used vehicles. One was a small recreation vehicle much smaller than the one the zone had and the other was a pickup truck. The hunter recognized most of the people surrounding the vehicles as their people, Kingdom people, or Hilltop folks. However a man and woman suddenly turned to watch his and Carol's approach and the hunter's heart seemed to grind to a sudden and rather abrupt halt in his chest.

They were no longer in uniform, were covered in dirt and blood and grime but, Daryl would have recognized the cops anywhere. It seemed like their faces would be forever burned into a part of his memory which he simultaneously wanted to expunge forever and also never lose. Suddenly understanding why Carol had come for him and him alone the hunter's pace picked up as he unslung his crossbow.

He was almost running a murderous expression on his face when Carol finally reached out to grab him and physically pull him back to her. He had only spared the man a woman a glance, enough of an inspection to see the worry and fear on their faces and be glad of it, before Carol was hauling him towards her.

"What the hell are you doing," she spat spinning him around to face her.

She had the collar of his shirt and Daryl suddenly felt like a five year old being confronted by his mother. His anger over that as well as the pain welling from deep within him caused him to shake her loose rather violently his emotions completely taking over. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt shame for his reaction, Carol was his best friend but, that shame was no match for the hurt and pain controlling him.

"Let go a me," the hunter growled turning back towards his targets with murderous intent.

"Damn it I knew I should have brought Rick," Carol growled as she grappled with the hunter unwilling to let him go," You don't want to do this Daryl. I promise you that you don't. Please calm down and hear them out."

Carol's plea's fell on deaf ears though as Daryl's emotions made him impervious to persuasion. The physical grappling between the two was finally broken up when King Ezekiel stepped in front of the hunter with his staff banging it loudly on the ground and declaring rather firmly," Me thinks you want to hear these folks out Daryl. My lady came for you even when it seemed more fortuitous to come for Rick instead. She was trying to help you. She wanted you to be here for this and she felt you were capable of controlling yourself. Don't prove her wrong. Don't make me defend her honor."

The strength of the King's declaration finally brought Daryl to a halt and stepping back from the man he took a long moment to examine the situation. Ezekiel had placed himself firmly at Carol's side and between him and his targets. Daryl had no doubt he would stop him from advancing any further and a glance in Carol's direction said she would do the same.

He finally dropped his crossbow to his side frustration overwhelming him as he spat at Carol," You're right you shoulda' brought Rick here for this," then turning towards the man and woman and glaring at them over Ezekiel's shoulder," you got some fuckin' nerve showin' up here. I don't know what the hell you think you're doin' but you ain't stayin' here."

He had just started to back away as if to flee from the scene altogether when the woman stepped forward," You're leader Rick he. . . he offered for anyone that wanted to. . .that they could go with him. He's a good man. A good person. There aren't many good people left and we want to be a part of that. We want to be a part of the good people."

Pausing in his retreat the hunter snapped uncaring of the now large gawking crowd of people," Well ain't that just tough shit cuz' you ain't good people."

"We tried to help you," she implored desperately," We never expected it to happen like that. We did what we could to make it right. We. . . "

The brunette's plea was suddenly cut off as the tough looking man beside her stepped forward frustration clear on his face," Shepherd that's enough begging," he ordered only to be cut off when she grabbed at his arm," Licari," she began to plead only to be cut off again as he shook free of her.

"Let me handle this Amanda," he ordered his eyes locking with Daryl's as he said firmly," We have something you need bowman. We have something I know you want very badly and you're going to hear us out without any bullshit if you want it."

Turning to clap his partner on the shoulder supportively Licari announced gravely," We've lost enough people trying to get here. We aren't losing anyone else."

"They have Heath Daryl," Carol interjected pointing to the bed of the truck where Daryl finally noticed the young man. He was sitting up holding onto the sides with another familiar figure kneeling next to him. The doctor was clothed in regular attired but the hunter remembered him from the hallway when he had been wearing a lab coat. The man looked terrified but he was sticking by his patient who looked like death warmed over.

Stepping around Carol and Ezekiel the hunter moved towards the Alexandrian. Stopping in front of him he inquired," Tara said she got separated from you. What the hell happened?"

"Good to see you too man," Heath joked badly before recognizing that the hunter wasn't in the mood and sighing," Tara and I stopped at a bridge on what was supposed to be our last day out. It was a camp of some sort and we thought we might be able to find something useful. We hadn't found jack up until then so we figured it was worth a try. We got ambushed by a herd and Tara got cornered. I tried to draw them away from her," he looked down and then with a hopeful expression met Daryl's eyes," You said she told you we were separated? She got back here? She's okay?"

"She's fine," the hunter grunted before pausing and very obviously waiting for Heath to continue.

Taking the hint the young man continued," I tried to make it back to the RV to fight them off but there were just too many. I was getting swarmed and I was grappling with a hoard of them when this car came out of nowhere and crashed into them. It killed a bunch of them right away but it also hit me. Knocked my glasses off and broke my leg. Then these people got out and finished killing the walkers. Checked me over for bites and then took me with them. They have a doctor," Heath glanced towards the man next to him," He treated my leg. Thinks the smaller bone in my leg the fibula is broken but he can't tell without an xray so it's a guess but Daryl," Heath paused again," these are good people Daryl." He looked imploringly at the hunter," They saved me and they've treated me well. I wouldn't have brought them here otherwise."

The hunter's mind was spinning with possibilities. They needed a doctor. Maggie needed a doctor now that Dr. Carson had been taken by Negan. He could keep this man for her even if he didn't allow the rest of these assholes to stay.

"Did you know they were lookin' for us," the hunter demanded having already deduced from what the cops had said that they were looking for Rick.

"Yeah," Heath drawled carefully," I knew they were looking for Rick and for you. They were pretty clear on that right up front when I started talking about bringing them here. They said they would bring me home but that they couldn't stay. They were headed to D.C. because they were looking for some specific people. Turned out we had those people in common."

Something about the younger man's statement unsettled the hunter. Confused he turned back towards Shepard and Licari," This what you thought I needed? What I'd want back? You didn't mean the doctor even though we do need him," Daryl watched the doctor start at that statement," You meant the boy?"

The hunter suddenly found his gut roiling with discomfort as he examined the two former cops. Something about this situation was bothering him and the suddenly tense looks on the cop's faces didn't dispel the feeling. Turning his head so as to keep the outsiders in his line of vision he glanced towards Carol who was huddled into Ezekiel's side. She looked. . . anxious which didn't sit well with him especially because Ezekiel was outright beaming. When Carol threw him another furtive look he turned back towards the cops again his anxiety and fear turning into anger as it was wont to do.

Daryl's intuition had always steered him right and suddenly his gut told him he wanted to be anywhere but here. Taking a step away from Heath he looked back at Shepard and Licari as he demanded emotionally," What the hell is going on here?"

When the cops simply remained silent and exchanged a loaded look the hunter glanced back towards Carol who had a hand covering her mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist. She had tears in her eyes and the world began to spin around the hunter as he blocked out the unsettling thoughts assailing him. He was exhausted from the battle, exhausted from the last several weeks, there was no way this whole scenario was even happening. He had fallen asleep and this was some weird twisted dream. One of the nightmares that frequented him on a regular basis.

Taking yet another step back his gut screamed at him to run, to preserve himself, he didn't want to be here anymore this was all too much. He was just about to heed the instincts that had kept him alive this long when Carol finally stepped forward and put a trembling hand on his arm. He could feel the tremors through the fabric of his jacket.

"Sweetheart," her voice was tremulous as she cleared her throat," Come with me."

It was a command but all the hunter could do was turn to stare at his best friend dumbly as she tugged gently on his sleeve. When he didn't move to follow her she dropped her hand until she'd clasped his. She smiled at him reassuringly as she tugged on his hand and headed towards the door of the small RV," Mika told me once that everything had to happen the way it was supposed to."

Carol's cryptic and out of place words did nothing to soothe the hunter but he couldn't seem to stop himself from following her like a small child. Then she was opening the door and his heart was hammering and he wasn't even sure why and before he could stop himself he was trying to back away again. It was an unconscious reaction, and he was afraid, and his heart felt like it was going to explode in his chest as it pounded away like a jack hammer.

"No," he choked out past the lump in his throat as he halfheartedly tugged against Carol's hand.

Sensing his panic and turning towards him as if to soothe a bewildered child Carol murmured softly," It's okay now honey. I promise it's going to be okay now," as she finally opened the RV's door.

As much as he tried to Daryl couldn't force himself to look away. He wanted to but he couldn't seem to compel his body to cooperate. Bright late day sun was shining in through the large window directly across from the door. The sun was finally setting on what had been one of the longest days of his life. It took a minute for his eyes to adjust to bright orange glow that was blinding him but finally he could see a figure sitting across from the door on the RV's couch. The person was sitting primly and stiffly and all the hunter could really make out was a tiny little thing bathed in orange light.

As he stood there rigidly in the doorway the figure stood and took two tentative steps forward out of the blinding light. The shoes caught Daryl's attention first. Black converse sneakers with two different colored laces. One was black the other white much like the laces he wore on his own boots. Then his eyes traveled up the length of the figure past tight black jeans to a fitted faded and worn grey t-shirt that molded to her tiny frame. The t-shirt was covered by a worn flannel with the sleeves rolled up to the girls delicate elbows. The flannel was a very worn and dirty yellow and green checked pattern covered in splotches of dried blood and other unmentionable things.

His gaze finally locked on the girls face, a visage marked by faded but prominent scars across her cheekbones and forehead, smudges of dirt and grime, and framed by a halo of now shoulder length snarled blonde hair.

He had no idea how long they both stood staring at each other in complete silence. Her face held hints of uncertainty and fear but mainly it projected hope. He could see such hope in those clear blue eyes which were locked on his face as they began to fill with watery liquid. She was going to cry. He could see the tidal wave coming. He observed all this as if completely removed from his own body. He was numb, cold, emotionless his fear and anxiety having given way to nothingness.

Finally the apparition spoke the voice so familiar it stirred something deep in his frozen heart," Daryl?"

That one word so plaintive and rife with emotion cut through the space between them imploring him to come to her even as she stood stock still and trembling on shaky legs.

From the corner of his eye Daryl could see Carol openly crying but for some bizarre reason he couldn't think of what to say or do. Carol also apparently was seeing this ghost which meant either he really was having a nightmare or the apparition before him wasn't a ghost which was frankly impossible.

His mind finally propelled that thought out into the universe," This isn't real," he murmured stonily.

Carol hiccupped back a sob as she reached for him but he shrugged her off as he continued to stare at his ghost.

Her face changed at his words, crumbled a bit, and he could clearly read her pain. He was so good at reading her. She was an open book to him ghost or not.

Her shoulders slumping a bit she murmured quietly her voice thick with tears of her own," It's real Daryl."

His name again. She uttered it in that same tone. One that implied she had a right to. One that implied he meant something to her.

Still frozen he shook his head," Nah I left you. Left you in that firetruck in that yard," then as if to himself as if he was seeking absolution," wasn't anythin' else ta be done. Didn't have a choice. They made me do it."

Obviously confused by at least some of what he'd said the blonde took a tiny step forward towards him," You did what you had to do. They told me about the herd. They told me about going down to get me because Shepard couldn't leave me there. They didn't expect to find what they did. You leaving me behind," there was a pause a breath," it saved me."

Another shake of his dark head as he replied as if still lost in his own incoherent mind," You got out ahead of me. We got separated. I let you get taken. I let them take you and it got you killed. I am the reason your dead and then I left you behind again. I'm gonna burn in hell for that someday." He stiffly shuffled back a step away from the RV.

"No," it was emphatic and emotional and tears started to stream unheeded down her dirty cheeks," Daryl," there it was again that plea that pulled at the non-existent strings of his heart," You saved me. "

He snorted, shook his head, took another couple of steps backwards," I am done talkin' ta a ghost," and then he was turning and striding away. He didn't get far though because the curious crowd had closed in effectively trapping him. Looking around dispassionately he noticed Rick had finally arrived. Apparently he'd gotten tired of waiting for Daryl to return. Alexandria's leader was standing off to the side with Shepherd and Licari and his face was ashen as he starred over Daryl's shoulder. Carol was clamoring after him calling for him to stop but he ignored her and he became aware of Rick looking at him now a confused and pained expression on his face. The thought crossed his mind that his friend was finally aware that he was cracking. All the shit he'd been through, all the shit Negan had inflicted upon him, it was finally catching up to him and he was losing his mind. He was seeing a damn ghost. She'd finally caught up to him. He deserved the haunting he supposed. His ears were ringing, his heart pounding, his mind spinning, and he couldn't seem to get enough air. Everything felt like it was closing in around him. Maybe he was dying too. Maybe that's why she was here. To get him. To take him where he truly belonged. To a place she would never be because she was an angel and he simply wasn't.

The roar of voices around him and the claustrophobic feeling overcoming him caused him to stagger a step as he tried to find a hole in the crowd through which he could escape. He was frantically searching for a way to run away when her voice cut cleanly through all the other noise surrounding him.

"Daryl Dixon don't you dare walk away from me. Not after everything I did to find you again. Don't you dare damn it."

She was furious now. Her tone hard and strong and he turned to find her bounding down the steps of the RV and out onto the pavement. She was angrily wiping away her tears as she stalked towards him. Glancing around at the crowd in confusion the hunter noticed that other people were watching her too. Murmuring to themselves. Was everyone able to see his ghost?

It was Maggie who finally convinced the hunter that this was really happening when her anguished cries cut through the crowd," Bethy oh my God Bethy."

Turning towards the brunette the hunter watched as she struggled to get to her sister. Rick had his arms around her holding her back his gaze locked on Daryl. Swinging back around towards the blonde he stared at her for a heart stopping moment before he forced one barely audible word past his frozen lips," Beth?"

The ire on her face fled almost instantly at his question and she suddenly seemed torn between going to her sobbing, screaming, struggling sister or him. When he just continued to stand staring at her as if frozen in place his inaction seemed to compel her towards him. She moved more slowly now her eyes locked with his.

"Hey," she murmured softly when she was still a couple of feet from him. Then gently as she reached out her hand for him," Are you with me now?"

He still wasn't completely certain what was happening but he suddenly had an overwhelming desire to touch her. Reaching out his own hand he wasn't sure what he expected but suddenly warm calloused familiar fingers were intertwining with his and she was stepping a bit closer. The touch of her hand in his truly grounded him for the first time since the RV door opened possibly for the first time since the last time he'd touched her when he'd been forced to leave her behind in that firetruck.

The physical connection seemed to lift the foggy haze that had enveloped the hunter and the strange numbness he'd been immobilized by was washed away by a tidal wave of emotions as Beth's blue eyes continued to gaze at him worriedly.

In those first few seconds of physical connection the knowledge that Beth Greene was truly standing in front of him was like an unexpected punch to the gut for Daryl. He struggled to breathe as his mind raced to catch up with what his senses already knew to be true. Beth wasn't gone, wasn't lost forever, and she hadn't left him. She was standing right in front of him, had survived a horrific wound, had traveled halfway up the east coast to find them.

That suddenly seemed important and he choked out," How did you find us?"

She smiled as she turned to throw a glance towards the two former cops," Amanda was the one who told me Noah went with you guys. I knew he wanted to go home and I knew home was Richmond. I figured at least some of you would have taken him there. It's what any of us would have done."

Daryl found himself nodding," He told us you wanted to take him."

"Yeah," she confirmed squeezing his hand softly and then with a crooked half smile," After I found you guys of course." Then she continued," I figured even if none of you had stayed with him that he might know where you'd gone. It was the only lead we had."

Her face fell as she acknowledged," We got there and it was gone. Completely destroyed."

"Then how," he started only to be cut off as she interrupted with a shrug," I was sitting there the night we found out our only lead was a dead end going through my supplies and things trying to figure out what to do and I found the spoon from the country club."

"The D.C. spoon," he questioned remembering how pleased Beth had been with it even though he'd found it to be a rather useless item.

"Yeah," she acknowledged then another shrug," was the only thing I had to go on and figured it might have been the only lead you guys had too so I figured we didn't have anything to lose by trying to get there," she turned towards where Heath was still sitting in the back of the truck," we found him on our way to D.C., we were travelling up the coast from Richmond, and here we are."

The hunter found himself shaking his head in disbelief as he asked once more still in shock," You're really here," as if he couldn't wrap his head around the idea.

The blonde smirked as she replied," I told you I'd meet you up the road," then with a bashful smile," it was just a much longer road than I imagined. "Stepping into him so that they were almost touching," I promised that I wouldn't leave you Daryl. I meant it." The last came out as part of a little half sob.

"Come here," Daryl grunted tugging gently on Beth's hand as he opened his arms for her.

She went into his embrace without question and the sobs started almost immediately as her arms wrapped around his waist," I missed you all so much. I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to find you."

"You did," the hunter found himself soothing," You did so good girl. You found us."

Beth's sobs continued a deep gut wrenching release of pain and fear. A catharsis that allowed her to purge all the doubt and pain that had been following her and Daryl just held her as he whispered soothing nothings into her ear and fought back his own tears. She needed him to be strong for her know. She'd fought so hard to get here. Now wasn't the time for his pain. At some point the hunter felt a crash as Maggie collided with them sobbing Beth's name and grappling for her sister. Daryl and Beth both opened their arms for her and the hug turned into a group embrace as they all three crashed to the ground.

Daryl found himself wrapped around both the Greene sisters protecting them and offering them comfort as he acknowledged within his own mind that these two women were his family. Somewhere, somehow, at some point they'd both become integral to him and his existence. Glancing up from his girls he noticed that the crowd had dispersed, more likely it had been cleared, and only the Grady folks and immediate family remained for this reunion. Rick caught his eye and Daryl could see the emotions his brother was holding back. They'd lost a part of their family earlier today but somehow miraculously they'd had another piece returned. For the first time in a long time Daryl felt the long forgotten sparks of hope springing to life in his heart.

With the sun finally dipping behind the horizon and the temperature steadily dropping Daryl made the decision to get the girls inside. Neither needed exposure to the cold temperatures and the hunter slowly rose to his feet urging Beth and Maggie to theirs as well. They weren't crying anymore but they were clinging to each other and clearly emotionally raw. Beth refused to let go of him so he ended up still holding her hand as she clung to Maggie.

As he urged the two women in the direction of the house that belonged to Maggie Rick approached them," You taking them home?"

"Yeah," the hunter grunted turning concerned eyes towards the Grady crew.

"I'll handle them," Rick assured," I am gonna set the doc up at the infirmary with Heath tonight. Hopefully he can help with the other patients too. I'll set the four cops up in one of the empty houses for tonight and we'll figure the rest out tomorrow."

"You trust 'em," the hunter questioned nodding towards the cops.

"The brought Beth back to us didn't they," Rick responded with a small tired smile," they can't be all that bad."

Daryl just nodded before wrapping an arm around the two Greene's and ushering them in the direction of the house.

XXXXXXXXXX

Several hours later Daryl found himself guarding the two women as they slept. Both were clearly exhausted and they had fallen asleep in less than ideal positions. Maggie was sitting up on the couch her head at an odd angle against the back and Beth was curled on her side her head in Maggie's lap. One of Maggie's hands was resting on the top of Beth's head where she had been stroking her sister's hair and the other was clasped with the blonde's their fingers intertwined and locked. They had talked, and cried, and murmured to each other for hours before passing out like this.

Now he sat a silent sentinel in the arm chair across from them trying to decide how to move them to a bed. The problem was that he was loathe to wake either of them and he wasn't sure how to move them without doing that.

He was in the middle of arguing with himself when a soft knock sounded at the front door. He rose quickly unwilling to let either of the woman be woken. Pulling open the door he came face to face with Carol her hand poised to knock again.

"Hey," he grunted softly keeping his voice low in order to indicate the need for quiet," what do ya need?"

"I came to check on you guys," Carol murmured taking her cue from him and keeping her voice quiet," Are they okay?"

"They're sleepin'," the hunter reported waving Carol inside and closing the door behind her.

Peaking into the living room she smiled softly her expression full of love as she observed wryly," That can't be comfortable for either of them."

Rubbing at the back of his neck Daryl admitted," Was just tryin' ta figure out how ta move 'em to beds upstairs."

"Well we can leave them a bit longer," Carol assured him gently," I also came to get you for a few minutes Rick needs to see you and he doesn't want to leave Michonne right now not after what happened today during the battle."

When she noticed his hesitation Carol placed her hand tenderly on his upper arm in support," I'll sit with them while you're gone. Watch over them. Rick needs you right now Daryl."

When the hunter responded to her encouragement by looking back at the two women worriedly Carol sighed deeply before affirming," She'll still be here when you get back. I promise."

Daryl's head swung sharply back towards Carol his eyes locking with hers for a moment before he dropped his gaze to examine his feet," Keep thinkin' I gotta be dreamin' and that I am gonna' wake up and she'll just be gone again."

Taking Daryl by the hand Carol pulled him back towards the foyer so that their conversation didn't wake the sisters. As she towed him along she pragmatically reassured him," You're not dreaming and she isn't going to disappear. You told me she was tough and you were right. She saved herself. Managed to hang on until they could find her and help her. She found us. That girl is a survivor just like me. Just like you."

Reaching the foyer Carol turned to face the hunter again and she was startled to find his visage crumbling before her very eyes. Reaching up to cup his cheek she soothed affectionately," Oh honey what's the matter?"

His head dipped into her hand for one long moment of comfort before he pulled back and visibly fought back his tears," I am not the man she thinks I am Carol. I am not . . . ," he paused to suck in a breath," I am not a good man like she thinks. I've done stuff since losin' her that she," he dropped his gaze to shake his head before whispering tightly," I wanted to be a good man for her. I tried ta be but I ain't a good man and it just . . .," he trailed off shaking and completely lost.

"Hey," Carol declared firmly pulling his gaze back up to hers as she reached out to cup his chin firmly trapping him so that he couldn't look away from her," You are a good man. You are and whatever you've had to do to stay alive this long you had to do. Beth will understand that Daryl. She'd rather you do those things and be alive for her than to not do them and be gone. Do you understand?"

When he just halfheartedly nodded the older woman hissed," You think she didn't have to do things Daryl. You think she didn't have to do things she'd rather not have to still be here? To get back to us? That's the world we live in now. It's about balance. The balance of staying alive and protecting the ones you love and being able to do that while not losing your soul and your humanity. Ezekiel and Morgan taught me that. There are going to be things we have to do and as hard as they might be they are the things we have to do to keep us and our family alive. We don't have to like them but we have to accept that it's the only way."

When Daryl pulled back to examine her thoughtfully Carol continued," You can't straddle the fence anymore. You can't be afraid to make hard choices. You have to be able to. You have to be able to balance the horrors of this world with the beauties of it. Sometimes we have to do the things we wish we wouldn't but if we don't lose our humanity while surviving then we are winning the battle."

Daryl found himself absorbing the wisdom of Carol's words as they washed away one of his deepest fears. He wasn't beyond Beth's redemption. Maybe she could understand what he'd been through and the things he'd had to do. There was so much he wanted to tell her. So many things he hadn't been able to tell another soul that he wanted to share with her. But he'd been overcome with the fear that she wouldn't be able to understand. Now he realized how foolish he'd been. If she'd understood before she'd understand now. Just like he'd understand whatever it was she had to tell him. There wasn't anything that she could say that would make him believe she was anything but the best person he knew.

Offering Carol a small half smile and a nod of acceptance he inquired," What's Rick need?"

Carol just shrugged," I am not sure but I think it has something to do with the Grady people because that doctors spent some time talking to Rick while he was sitting with Michonne."

The hunter reached for his crossbow a dark expression falling over his face before turning to throw ones last look over his shoulder at the Greene girls," Take care a them for me. I won't be long."

"I will," Carol assured him as she placed her hand on the small of his back and ushered him from the home.

XXXXXXXXXX

For the second night in a row Daryl found himself traversing the darkened streets of Alexandria. This time however things couldn't be more different. It was late but it wasn't the small hours, there were guards on the walls but they were much more relaxed than the night before, and he was feeling all kinds of emotions but none were the dark feelings of the previous night. They had won the battle, maybe not the war but, the opening battle. They had lost a friend and integral part of their family with the loss of Sasha but in return they had welcomed back into their fold one of their strongest symbols of hope and perseverance. Carol was right it was all about balance.

He was so lost in his thoughts that the hunter didn't even realize he was near the church until the boy from the previous night called out to him," Hey Mr. Dixon," then after a shuffle and a stutter," Um hi um Daryl."

Well maybe more than one miracle had happened today the hunter mused because it appeared that the boy had somehow managed to survive the battle from the day before. Raising his hand in acknowledgement he grunted in the boy's direction before turning to look at the church. There was light emanating from inside and the hunter wondered if the father was there.

For some reason he wasn't really sure of he wanted to check. Entering the portal to the church and traversing the isle he found Gabriel prostrate at the altar. As he drew to a stop he shuffled his feet uncomfortably not sure how to draw the man's attention to him. Should he clear his throat, call his name, he wasn't sure what the protocol was for something like this.

Finally the father sat back on his haunches and turning around he examined the hunter for a long moment before heaving out on an exhausted sigh," I've been praying for our people. I prayed all night long last night," a small smile," It seems to have worked so I figured maybe praying for those in the infirmary would help as well."

Unsure of what to say Daryl simply grunted," Can't hurt I guess."

The two men were quiet for several long moments as they simply observed one another. Gabriel seemed to be waiting for something but the hunter wasn't sure what it was.

Finally tilting his head the father mused," I prayed for you too last night," at the hunters startled response Gabriel continued," Quite a bit actually."

"Why," Daryl found himself spitting out in response uncertain why anyone would feel the need to pray for him.

After a moment of contemplation Gabriel replied," Because you needed me too."

When the hunter still appeared puzzled Gabriel continued," The way things are now Daryl everyone needs faith in something. It's the only way they can keep going. You'd lost yours so I prayed that you would get it back," the father shrugged before smirking," I heard my prayers were answered today. Rather a quick response even if I do say so myself."

"Beth," Daryl felt himself whispering as the father watched him.

With a nod the man agreed," Not exactly what I was thinking of but the Lord does tend to work in mysterious ways. I never would have foreseen that answer but it's more than I could have hoped for."

Collapsing into the pew beside him the hunter dropped his head into his hands as Father Gabriel rose and joined him on the pew. Reaching out the father placed his hand on the hunter's shoulder in support," You told me last night that you didn't believe in God anymore. That you didn't believe that he had a plan for you or that you had a future. You'd lost all hope. Can you understand now that he loves you and that he wants more for you than what you've ever imagined?"

"Why," Daryl found himself asking even as he shook his head against the Father's words.

His hand found the knife at his side as Gabriel just shrugged his own shoulders," I don't pretend to know the Lord's plans Daryl I just know that he has one for each of us. It's our job to figure out what that is and to make peace with it. If I had to guess I would say he had great things in mind for you. You just have to trust him enough to see that."

Confused and somewhat awed Daryl stood to unbuckle his belt. Gabriel looked confused as the hunter slipped the sheath and knife from his belt and placed it upon the altar.

"What are you doing," the father asked clearly puzzled.

Daryl was already heading for the door, Rick was waiting for him after all but, he paused to turn back to the father to reply," I am done hangin' on ta things that don't matter. I don't need a knife to have faith anymore. He gave me somethin' more valuable ta hang onto. The things we hold onto shouldn't be tangible they should be the things that touch us deeper than that. The knife is his. My offerin' my . . .," he paused at the church's door turned back to the father once again a true smile gracing his features for the first time that Gabriel could remember," I get it now. I just want him to know that," and then he was melting back into the darkness like the shadow he often resembled leaving Gabriel to contemplate what had just happened.

XXXXXXXXX

Several hours later Daryl wearily climbed the front steps to what he now considered the Greene home. Silently he opened the door and slipped inside. He found Maggie and Beth just as he'd left them and Carol dozing curled up in the recliner across from them. Going to her he shook her shoulder gently to wake her.

When she peered up at him blearily he prompted softly," Go on home I am sure Ezekiel is waiting for you."

Chuckling as she sat up she joked," I am surprised he hasn't sent Jerry looking for me by now." Rubbing her eyes tiredly she asked," What did Rick want?"

The hunter shrugged as he moved to set his crossbow against the wall," Turns out the doc wanted to sing like a canary. Had already told a bunch of stuff ta Rick before I got there and then he just continued talkin'. "

"So," Carol probed curiously.

"So," the hunter replied shrugging out of his tattered jacket," turns out they really are good people. The ones that are left anyway. They lost quite a few of their own on the trip up here. It didn't go as smoothly as they had hoped. The doc just wants to be someplace that's safe and he wants to have a purpose. He's not a lady doctor. Not what Maggie really needs but he says he's sure he can brush up on what he already knows if we can find him some books. So I guess that's what I'll be doin' next. Tryin' ta find books on birthin' babies."

"I can help too," Carol was quick to assure him," Herschel taught me a lot when Lori was pregnant. I think between him and I we can safely see her through this."

"We have too," Daryl asserted with passion as his gaze swung towards the sleeping brunette," We have ta keep them both safe for Glenn. We owe him that. I owe him that."

"And we will," Carol pledged," We are all her family not just you and Beth. We will all keep them safe."

She had placed her hand upon the hunters shoulder and he reached up to cover it. Squeezing her fingers he encouraged her again," Go home Carol. I'll come find you at some point tomorrow to talk about goin' on a run for some books. Figure if you don't mind goin' that you know best what we're lookin' for."

She nodded leaning in to kiss his cheek softly before gesturing towards the sisters," You need help with that?"

"Nah," he refuted shaking his head," I got 'em."

"Okay good night then," Carol offered in parting as she headed for the front door.

Several seconds later Daryl heard the front door click shut and turning back toward the women he considered the best way to separate them. Beth has tossed and turned in her sleep so that she was barely in Maggie lap anymore so he decided to take her up first.

Carefully he scooped the brunette into his arms and she barely stirred exhausted from the battle, the emotional upheaval of the day, and no doubt from growing another human being. As if he was caring precious glass the hunter trekked up the stairs and down the hallway to the bedroom he knew to be Maggie's. After settling her in her room he closed the door softly behind him and scouted out where he was going to put Beth. He decided on the room that had been Sasha's because it had a comfortable looking queen sized bed where the other room which he was fairly certain had been Noah's for a short time only had a twin. He figured he would take that room. Besides there was no way he was putting Beth where the boy had slept.

Padding as quietly as he could back down the stairs he found Beth curled almost in a fetal position as if the absence of her sister had made her curl into herself. As tenderly as he could he scooped her into his arms taking a moment to appreciate the familiar weight. He was slowly making his way towards the stairs when he realized that Beth had turned in his arms and snuggled into his chest and one of her hands had wrapped securely around his shirt. A bit worriedly he wondered how he was going to free himself when the time came.

Just as cautiously as with Maggie he made a second trip up the stairs but at the landing he turned left instead of right heading towards the pale purple bedroom with the queen sized bed. Using his foot he kicked the door open a bit as he shuffled through sideways being careful not to hit Beth's head against the jam. Then turning he traversed the distance to the bed and began to lay her down. Dislodging her hand however proved to be a task and when he tried to work her fingers loose her eyelids fluttered. Shortly thereafter he found himself staring into unfocused cornflower blue eyes.

When she appeared as if she might be about to panic Daryl was quick to soothe," Hey it's okay."

Beth released his shirt then but just as quickly she was reaching for his hand and capturing it," What are you doing," she croaked sleepily.

"It was time to go to bed," the hunter murmured softly," neither a you needed ta spend the night on the couch."

"Maggie," the blonde inquired concern clear in her voice.

"Is in her own bed," Daryl was quick to reassure her.

"Oh," Beth muttered then after a quick study of the room," Whose room is this?"

"Used to be Sasha's," Daryl whispered," Now," he shrugged," Now it'll be yours."

When he made to stand up Beth's fingers tightened around his.

"Where are you going," the blonde whispered frantically a hint of panic reentering her tone.

"To the other spare room," Daryl assured her," it's just down the hallway."

Beth was quiet for a long moment but in the dim light the hunter could still see thoughts racing across her features. Finally while still not releasing his hand she murmured shyly with a hint of a quiver in her voice," Stay with me," a long pause and then," Please."

He was shaking his head before she even finished," Beth that ain't," he started only to be cut off when the blonde pleaded," Please Daryl I've missed you so badly and I don't want to be alone tonight. Please stay with me."

The hunter fought a quick internal battle with himself as he stared into Beth's pleading eyes. He didn't want to leave her, didn't want to be separated from her either but, somehow he didn't think Maggie would appreciate him spending the night in her little sisters bed.

Looking to compromise he offered," How about I stay here next to you until you fall back asleep."

"No," the response was quick and emphatic and the look on Beth's face suddenly reminded Daryl of a pouting child.

He was about to tease her, about to remind her that she was a grown woman that could take care of herself, not a little girl when she dealt the death blow to his resistance.

"Please don't leave me again," she beseeched him her voice trembling with unshed tears.

His resolve crumbled like the walls of Jericho as his heart clenched at her appeal. How could he possibly deny her now? She was fighting dirty and somehow he knew that she knew that's what she was doing.

Chastising her gruffly he ground out," That ain't fair and you know it."

"Don't care if it's fair," she retorted trying to pull him towards her," you'll stay right?"

He let out a shuddering breath as he agreed," Yeah I'll stay."

"Good," she whispered happily as she scooted over and eagerly patted the space next to her, " come on."

Stiffly he moved to sit on the bed and then just as stiffly he moved to lie back against the pillows. Both he and Beth were still fully clothed but this still felt awkward to him. Seconds later however Beth was wiggling into his side as she threw one leg over his and worked her hand up and under his shirt until it was resting over his pounding heart.

His breathe caught in his chest and then of its own volition his arm wrapped around her pulling her closer. His mind was screaming at his traitorous body even as Beth accepted the invitation and moved to rest her head on his chest. Her thick blonde hair scratched against his chin and the scent of her wafted up into his nostrils like a long forgotten perfume.

Against his will he felt his body relaxing into the warmth of her, the softness that beckoned to him, that offered a respite from the harsh realities of their world.

As if she was reading his mind Beth murmured sleepily," Stop fighting it so much. You want to be here. I can feel your heart beat slowing."

"You're a damn minx," the hunter shot back at her.

"I am your minx," Beth countered confidently.

"How do you know you're my anythin'," Daryl grunted disagreeably. He didn't like feeling like this like Beth knew what was happening and he didn't. He'd never in his life felt as out of his element as he did in this moment.

"They told me how you were after I was shot Daryl," Beth confided quietly," told me how you shot Dawn and cried over me and refused to let anyone help you. Maggie and Carol told me about how you were after that. You never needed anyone before me but you needed me. You still need me," she asserted knowingly.

"I don't," he retorted only to have Beth raise her head to look him in the eye.

"You do," her declaration cut the air between them," now stop fighting this because it's happening," then as almost an afterthought as she once more lowered her head to his chest," it's actually already happened you're just catching up now."

Unable to stop himself from tenderly cupping the back of her head with his hand he challenged," What is it that you think is happening Beth?"

Instead of responding to his question he felt her huff out a sigh as if she was growing frustrated with him. Well good because he was frustrated too.

Then she was whispering cryptically into the darkness," Don't worry Daryl I'll be careful with you. I promise."

"Be careful with me," he questioned in utter confusion.

"Well yeah," she stated matter of factly," you had your turn teaching me to survive. Now it's mine to teach you."

"You think you're goin' ta teach me how to survive," Daryl croaked unable to keep the disbelief from his voice.

"Yup," Beth sassed softly raising her head again so that she was once more looking him in the eye. He could see the mirth dancing in her blue orbs and he wondered if she had been messing with him this whole conversation.

Thinking that maybe she had he teased back," So tell me Miss Greene what is it that you're gonna teach me 'bout survivin'?"

Shifting her hand she rubbed it over his heart again drawing his gaze down to it before she countered," This stuff."

He found himself confused again," What stuff?"

She was smiling at him again and he found himself unable to look away from her mesmerizing eyes. He could feel his heart beat quickening again and he knew she could too.

Watching him closely in the dim lighting she replied sagely," Heart stuff."

Dumbly he found himself repeating her words," Heart stuff?"

"Yeah," she murmured as her fingers stroked over his racing heart," You know all the practical ways to survive and you're damn good at it but you don't know the first thing about the stuff that makes the surviving worth it."

"And what kind of stuff would that be," he found himself challenging her.

Her one word response almost causing his rapidly beating heart to misfire when she smiled at him knowingly and whispered," Love."

They were both silent for a long moment grappling with the bombshell she had detonated between them. Daryl could feel that she had stiffened a bit against him as if waiting for him to jerk away from her.

There was a part of him that wanted to do just that but instead he questioned incredulously," You think you're goin' ta teach me ta love. That I need ta be able to do that to survive?"

He was even more confused though when Beth shook her head in response to his statement.

"Then what exactly are you sayin'," he challenged frustration and anger clear in his tone.

"I don't have to teach you to love Daryl," Beth soothed tenderly," you already know how to do that." Pressing into him she continued," You love Rick, Judy, Carol, my sister, and pretty much everyone in our family," she paused seemed to gather herself for a moment," You love me."

"I don't," he tried to interrupt her only to have her place her finger against his lips and shush him.

"You do," she asserted confidently, "and I love you." Her face softened and became heavy with emotion as she continued," You love so deeply honey but you don't know how to let yourself be loved. I am gonna teach you that. I am gonna teach you to let yourself feel that. To love and to be loved and to let that love give you the power you need to survive because in the end that's why we're still here. Why humanity is still clawing and grappling and scrabbling to eke out an existence in this post-apocalyptic hell. Love is what keeps Maggie going even though Glenn is gone. Love is what brought Judith into this world. Love is why we're here Daryl. I am going to love you, and you're going to let me, and in return I am going to teach you about what it means to really live to do more than survive."

Daryl felt himself crumbling and he couldn't keep the gravel out of his voice as he probed," You're gonna do that huh?"

"Yup," the tiny indomitable blonde responded.

Pulling her even closer, feeling her body soften against his again, feeling his heart regain its normal rhythm he inquired," And you're gonna start teaching that stuff to me tomorrow?"

"Yup," Beth affirmed with a yawn," first thing in the morning."

"Well then you better go ta sleep ya little minx," Daryl chastised with a chuckle," because dawn's only a few hours away and it seems to me that you have a lot of work to do."

"It'll be worth it," he felt more than heard her response as she sleepily whispered it into his chest.

He felt her body relax completely against him than as she drifted back to sleep. His own mind was racing from the momentous events of the day but Daryl could already feel himself physically shutting down. The comfort of holding Beth was quickly lulling him to sleep even as he tried to fight it. The last thing he could focus on as consciousness slipped away from him was the thought that he finally had something of a future to look forward to. He was more than a little terrified of whatever Beth had in mind but he trusted her with himself in a way that he had never trusted anyone else. Sure whatever she had planned might scare the hell out of him and he might be more than a little uncomfortable following her to where ever she was leading him. But he knew one thing to be true even if he didn't know anything else. No matter what any future that held Beth Greene in it would be worth it because she was the well from which his faith flowed and his hope for a future that was better than the past.

As always I hope you enjoyed this little fic. Please think about leaving a review and letting me know what you thought. They are always greatly appreciated and I very much love hearing what people think about these little stories.


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